Agents and agency
Given the text of Terrell Owens’ most recent non-apology, Owens must believe that he lacks any agency when off the football field. This is shocking, given Owens’ repeated calls for more cash precisely because he believes that he is a “gamechanger” or a “playmaker” — someone with a great deal of agency on the field, even with a broken leg, etc. Owens’ world-defying powers, however, apparently disappear when entering the locker room, the front office, or the press room.
Clearly, Owens believes that the situation is bad now (after all, he is not playing the game or getting paid), but he is not particularly clear on how he and the Eagles arrived at this point. He addresses each offended party — fans, coach, quarterback, and team executives — without accepting any culpability. He regrets the current state of affairs, but is not contrite for his substantial role in the status quo.
How does Owens “apologize” to the fans? “To every single Philadelphia Eagles fan out there that cheered for me, I want you to know that I am sorry this has happened.” Hey, mistakes were made. The real tragedy is that if you want to cheer for T.O. for the rest of the season, you’ll have to subscribe to the Fox Driveway Sit-Up Channel (tune to 657 on DirecTV, or contact your local cable operator).
How does Owens “apologize” to his teammates and to McNabb? “It was very painful for me not to be there with you against the Redskins last weekend, and it was more painful for me now that I won’t be there with you Monday night. Also, I would like to reiterate my respect for Donovan McNabb as a quarterback and as a teammate. I apologize to him for any comments that may have been negative.”
While it is hard for me to see how any comments Owens has made about McNabb might have been construed as negative, it is possible that readers who lack sufficient appreciation for T.O.’s subtle, nuanced rhetorical style might be foolish enough to do so. As for the rest of the team? Well, T.O. hasn’t made any comments about you that “may have been negative,” but it is “painful” for him to not be elbowing you out of the spotlight on two nationally-televised games.
Owens is even more agency-free when “apologizing” to his employers:
To my head coach, Andy Reid, I owe you an apology. You and I were in a tough spot this year. I know you were just trying to coach this team and we did not see eye to eye sometimes. On the practice field and on game day, you knew you could count on me to give my very best. We had a lot of wins together, and I thank you for that. I respect you as a coach and as a person.
To Joe Banner and Mr. [Jeffrey] Lurie, I understand that all along you were trying to do what you believed was in the best interest of the team, the Philadelphia Eagles. I apologize to the both of you.
Wait a minute. Is he issuing an apology or accepting one? “I know you were trying to do what you believed was in the best interests of the team?” “I know you were just trying to coach this team?” Hey, sometimes even people who mean well can step on a few TOes. It wasn’t your fault, Andy, Joe, and Jeff; Terrell will take you back.
These are not the words of a man who is admitting — even to himself — that he has wronged others. As he approaches an inevitable period of free-agency, Owens would do well to consider how teams will weigh the benefits and costs of contracting with a player who is agency-free.
If Terrell Owens has no agency, though, it is even more apparent that he has no agent. The speculation around the IP.com water cooler is that if Owens gets a gig playing for someone other than the Montreal Alouettes next year, it will be in the form of an incentive-laden, cap-friendly contract with a Byzantine set of behavioral restrictions such that if he acts up, he gets cut without pay. If Rosenhaus lets Owens sign such a contract, he should be jailed for professional malpractice.
That’s not to say that Rosenhaus won’t let Owens sign such a contract, of course: if Owens doesn’t sign, Drew doesn’t get paid. (We imagine he has to recover the costs of re-framing his Jerry Maguire posters — a necessary expense if your home office is to appear on ESPN for eight hours daily.) Furthermore, the trail of malpractice to this point is clear: an agent who takes on the toughest front office in football in the media instead of in the boardroom may have as inflated an opinion of his skills as does the athlete he represents.
(For the record, we are currently disregarding the conspiracy theories that anti-Rosenhaus collusion is widespread among league front offices. We are also ignoring the — more plausible — suggestion that Rosenhaus realized that his client wouldn’t get any ducats from Philly and found the fastest way out without risking value-reducing injury.)
Were I Terrell Owens’ agent, here’s what I’d do:
- Have him issue a real, “I cocked this up myself”-level apology in private and in public.
- Require that 1% of his salary goes to pay an unemployed twentysomething with a degree in journalism, theatre, or P.R. to coach Owens before appearing in public.
- Replace his cell phone with one that cannot contact Michael Irvin.
- Coat his body and larynx in a special compound that will make him invisible and inaudible on ESPN.
Hey, it’s a start.
November 22nd, 2005 at 11:15 am
[...] As regards the Steve Young/Phil Simms tiff itself, it’s clearly a non-story. Young “clarified” his comments later, indicating that he feels that there is a generational difference in toughness, and that he doesn’t believe that Chris Simms was raised in a lily-livered house as Young claimed. Whatever. It’s orders of magnitude more sincere than the T.O. non-apology; whether it’s a plausible clarification or not, Phil Simms should probably let it drop. [...]