http://www.illegalprocedure.com Football analysis and scattershot conjecture. No broken ankles. Wed, 28 Oct 2009 21:09:52 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en Brett Favre's assertion that the 2009 Vikings are a better team than the 1996 Packers has raised the ire of several people who played on that team. Tight end Mark Chmura doesn't even attempt a diplomatic tone: They have Adrian Peterson, but I think Chester Taylor is a guy. We ... http://www.illegalprocedure.com/?p=141 ...because a hell of a lot less of the earth is covered by Smoot than we've been led to believe. And seriously, I think those five preseason games have lulled Zorn into some kind of reverie in which the fourth quarter is just for evaluating practice-squad players, not for ... http://www.illegalprocedure.com/?p=137 Game notes: Less time on hair gel, more time on game plan. Trade Santana Moss for Plaxico Burress. That Eli is one elusive motherfucker. What was Clinton talking about with all that "off-tackle" and "outside" jabber?  Oh, that was on-camera?  How did my hair look? Chris who? Upside: ball did not injure receivers as ... http://www.illegalprocedure.com/?p=131 The Pro Football Talk website is pretty much a case study in how not to build a scalable web service. (Whereas, here at IP.com, we have no trouble catering to the demands of our 4--6 daily readers, including "canadian pharmacy teen sex orgy," "casino gambling," "hrb@l v*i*a*g*r!@," and "GoogleBot".) ... http://www.illegalprocedure.com/?p=130 The Green Bay Packers have issued a lengthy statement assuring the fans that they have "a plan" in place to proceed with Brett Favre as their quarterback. I actually have a pretty good idea what that plan is: Announce in public that they've moved on without him. Burn every possible bridge ... http://www.illegalprocedure.com/?p=125 Man, and Green Bay let this guy go? What's the hardest part about tearing off a lamb's testicles with your teeth?  Getting the blood out of your mustache!  No, seriously: Giants offensive lineman Grey Ruegamer once helped a friend castrate about 200 young sheep, and they used what apparently is an ... http://www.illegalprocedure.com/?p=124 Here's some embarrassing spin from Mike Florio, when confronted with reports that Tony Dungy is not expected to retire this year, contra Florio's league sources: So our report from a week ago was right in content, wr-wr-wr-wr-erroneous in timing. We apologize for the error. Hey, by that standard, he was "right ... http://www.illegalprocedure.com/?p=123 You fill in the caption. My suggestion: "but not as well as Favre has gotten to know the 'other side' of King, if you catch our drift." http://www.illegalprocedure.com/?p=122 I've avoided the Emmitt Smith pile-on. I more or less like him as a player and a person, and I don't think he's any worse than Stephen A. Smith, Keith Olbermann, or Bill Maas as a broadcaster. (I'll always take a well-meaning goofball over a high-decibel blowhard.) However, tonight ... http://www.illegalprocedure.com/?p=120 Judd Zulgad is one of my favorite NFL beat writers. However, he certainly knows how to twist the knife. http://www.illegalprocedure.com/?p=119