Man, and Green Bay let this guy go?
What's the hardest part about tearing off a lamb's testicles with your teeth? Getting the blood out of your mustache! No, seriously: Giants offensive lineman Grey Ruegamer once helped a friend castrate about 200 young sheep, and they used what apparently is an old Basque method to do it.
That means more sheep testicles for the rest of northern WI, I guess.
Wow. It takes a lot to make Michael Vick look sincere.
Which one of these douchebags who has slept with Paris Hilton will have a better game? When you think about it, for epidemiological purposes, Urlacher and Leinart have already enjoyed some hot, sweaty man-love. Here’s hoping they wait until Matty is no longer “wired for sound” to explore this connection in person.
It’s hard to say which is worse: Urlacher, who left his wife and young daughter to bang this vapid, horse-faced prostitute, or Leinart, who got a big payday and then abandoned his pregnant girlfriend to plant his rod in an equine snatch. Leinart is perhaps worse, as he chose to cruise down a superhighway that had already been paved by Brian Urlacher. Yuck.
UPDATE: damn, I must not be funny. PFT had the same idea.
I know my first post was to be a more sedate review of Invicible, but this made me laugh much too hard to not post:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-CvKD8Wzm1I
Way to clean up the ol’ image, Miami. Perhaps the NFL morons on ESPN will have to end their slobbery chants of “The U!” while ignoring that the on-set representative ran over students’ feet with his car. Not that any other “graduates” of Miami have been anything less than upstanding.
By the way, my two favorite moments are when the crowd of Miami players surround and stomp on the FIU guy, as well as the belly-to-back suplex in the middle of the crowd. Nice tackle.
It might just be the sleep deprivation, but I could have sworn that Fred Smoot just won the Nobel Prize. I guess if you spend enough time investigating massive gang-bangs, eventually The Man will take notice. Congrats, Fred, and here’s hoping your prize doesn’t see you benched on the first series of Sunday’s game.
In case anyone missed it, the Packers are so desperate that they picked up Koren Robinson. You can check it out at here.
Vikings fans may remember that current Jax cornerback Brian Williams was instrumental in bringing Koren Robinson to Minnesota. Williams, who was then with the Vikings and had been a teammate of Robinson’s in college, lobbied Mike “Cap’n Judgement” Tice to bring in the “troubled” receiver, arguing that Robinson had left his flammable-breathed demons behind.
Given that background, this story isn’t particularly surprising.
Longtime readers know that this writer is a long-suffering Viking fan. Indeed, there may be no other kind.
I also have a terrible track record: as soon as I buy a jersey, the player is toast. As a child, my first Viking jersey was that of Herschel Walker. More recently, the very thought of purchasing a Randy Moss jersey for my dog resulted in his immediate trade for a rookie WR from a running conference and (I think) Jon Heder. I completed the trifecta by purchasing a Culpepper jersey in the 2004 offseason.
To be fair, Culpepper seemed like a safe choice at the time. He had a long-term contract, was the face of the franchise, was a high-performing player, and seemed like a decent human being. There was no indication that he would be caught receiving fellatio playing craps on a rented orgy boat; that his on-field performance would plummet, only to hit bottom when he suffered a terrible injury; and that he would later talk his way out of town, robbing my team of an elite quarterback and leaving them with a pick sometime in the 340th consecutive hour of Mel Kiper Hair Coverage (Glued Up by Elmer’s) on ESPN.
This offseason, I entertained the idea of getting a Tarkenton or (Cris) Carter throwback. I figured that neither was particularly likely to demand a trade any time soon or (absent an Orenthal-style ex-wife-slicing or Namath-style Kolber-groping) tarnish his legacy with some off-field stupidity. Furthermore, since I live in Wisconsin, I’ve gotten used to football fans who live in the past — why not join them? I didn’t buy a throwback, though. I thought: perhaps some current player in the undistinguished, star-free field of Vikings will distinguish himself and become strongly associated with the team!
One candidate was a young receiver who, like Cris Carter, presented a feel-good story of a talented young man haunted by demons and shamed in his first NFL city — only to seek and find redemption with the Vikings, picking up a hefty contract along the way. (Astute observers may see where this is going.) No, I didn’t buy a Koren Robinson jersey, but I have an idea for how I’d get one made:
30-year-old Indy quarterback Peyton Manning expects to play for eight more years, citing good health and a career of “outstanding protection.” Well, as long as the Colts aren’t playing Pittsburgh, that is.
BTW: Apparently the Duke women’s lacrosse team plans to show their support for the men’s team by raping a male stripper.
My wife, upon hearing that the Dolphins had signed Marcus Vick, had this to say:
Doesn’t he have to go to prison?