Illegal Procedure

In the most hilarious statement I’ve heard this side of Terrell Owens’ driveway, Rex “a joint or bone regularly” Grossman claims that he is a “durable” player.

I’ve been playing football since 2nd grade and I know I’m durable. I’ve only been hurt twice in 18 years.

Rex, we at IP.com are absolutely sure you could stand up to a 2nd grade pass rush without risking crippling injury. Our oddsmakers are shaking their heads on this one, but we’d even be willing to go all the way to junior high, if the opposing coordinator isn’t allowed to stunt or blitz the secondary. However, your “hurt twice in 18 years” statistic is not particularly meaningful, given that those injuries have both come where it counts — in the NFL — and that you’ve started six games in three NFL seasons.

So let’s not talk “durable” yet, li’l Rex. We’re sure that, given the right combination of painkillers and media adulation, you’d be a regular Brett Favre. However, averaging two games per season is barely “durable” even by third-string long snapper standards.

Chicago‘s front office shouldn’t complain, though, as it is getting a stellar deal. In fact, if you figure your $5m signing bonus alone, they’ve only paid $833,333 for each of your starts. Injured or not, one wonders why, given your bargain price, every team in the league isn’t clamoring for the services of a quarterback with a coin-flip completion percentage, three touchdowns, and only four interceptions.

The word on the street is that Torry Holt‘s sprained PCL is actually a torn PCL. Although the Rams are painting a pretty picture about Holt’s condition, local radio stations in St. Louis is reporting that Holt is likely done for the year. I would take this one with a grain of salt- Holt himself seems confident he will play on Sunday, but these reports are disturbing.

And where the hell is Isaac Bruce?

The only good news for St. Louis fans appears to be that Marc Bulger is back in action, and the Rams’s backup receivers, especially Kevin Curtis, continue to perform well.

Priest Holmes has been put on the injured reserve list. If I were Priest, I would do the same thing, no matter how much Dick Vermeil trivialized my “burners”. Hey, it may feel like paralysis, but don’t worry, it doesn’t last very long.

I hate to say I told you so. If you are a Priest fantasy owner, I hope you handcuffed Larry Johnson in your league–he’s going to be a top 5 running back for the rest of the season.

Earlier this week, Gus predicted that Priest Holmes might be done with the NFL for good. The same rumor just hit the mainstream press; mad props to Gus!