Illegal Procedure

just said “when you can give a body part to a teammate….” before his voice trailed off. Of course, Madden was talking about kidneys. But I’m sure that there’s a coarse joke in there somewhere. If only we could find it.

Lincoln Financial Field was awash today as Donovan McNabb rushed into the home locker room waving a blade. Several of the Eagles’ receivers, including Reggie Brown, Hank Baskett, and Brian Westbrook, sustained stab wounds in their palms. It is not known whether it had anything to do with their combined nine catches (Westbrook leading with eight).

Responding to the events, Rush Limbaugh took several painkillers and asked whether this would be a story if McNabb was white.

After suffering a concussion and being knocked out cold last Sunday, Ben Raeiouthlisberger had an MRI of his head, which found nothing.  No wonder he doesn’t wear a motorcycle helmet.

Why it’s The Caffeinated One choking on Tiki Barber’s enormous manhood. Wait, you say, how is there room in there with Farv plugging up TCO’s latte hole? Farv must be tagging him in the boo this week.

Favre has now officially emptied that big barrel heaping full of good will that he collected over the seasons.  He apparently only wants to come back if the Packers get better players, but the Packers can’t get better players if Favre doesn’t come back.  I bet the Packers really appreciate that double-bind you’ve created for them, especially now that you’ve dragged it out this long, Brett.

I know some of the authors here at IllegalProcedure.com are musically inclined. That’s why I expect a remix of T.O.’s new rap by the end of the day.

If the Bills are desperate to win, why did they hire Dick Jauron?

I’m voting for Denver and Seattle, though I think either game could go either way. I’m almost convinced that the Steelers will win in Denver, but since it’s a road game, I’m going with the safe bet. I think either Pitt. or Denver will beat who ever advances from the NFC.

• Washington @ Seattle: Seattle. Easy pick after the lackluster showing by Washington’s offense last week. To be fair, Seattle’s defense is not as good as Tampa Bay’s, but I think their offense more than makes up for it.
• New England @ Denver: Denver. This is the matchup of the week, and not just because I’m a Broncos fan. New England has a 10-game playoff streak, and Denver has a 10-game home streak, as well as a 10-game home streak in December and January. Two great coaches: Shanahan the offensive mastermind vs. Belichick the defensive genius. Denver’s power running game vs. New England’s power passing game. I think Denver is the overall better team, but Brady is the X-factor, as always. I would pick New England in Foxborough, BTW.
• Pittsburgh @ Indianapolis: Indy. This is likely the best defense Indy will have to play for the rest of the postseason, and you better believe they are dissecting the film from the San Diego game. Still, I’m confident that Indy will win and Joey Porter will eat his words.
• Carolina @ Chicago: Tough call.  I’m sure Chicago won’t make it to the superbowl with such a lackluster offense, but they really pasted Carolina the last time these teams met.  I think I’ll take Carolina anyway; they are playing a lot better than they were when they got pounded by the Bears.

I’m publishing this a bit late, but only by Carolina/Chicago pick wasn’t done before Sunday morning.

SI.com has an interesting article up about IP.com’s favorite NFL referee, Ed Hochuli, including his workout regimen and diet.

Hercules’s secret to monster guns? Cheetos, and lots of ‘em.